That Time of the Year Agian
by ttoad
Summary: It's the one time of the year Mayuri hates more than any other. Read to find out. FLAME AWAY!


Hello there to all you happy readers and readerettes out there. I wanted to write a Mayuri fic ever since I started an account here. This was spawned as I was reading through volume 14 and 15 of Bleach during my trip to Colorado. I was really inspired by the landscape and Coheed and Cambria's _Second Stage Turbine Blade_ CD helped me come up with this story so I hope you enjoy it.

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_BLRIIING-BLRIIING-BLRI_**BOOM**! Mayuri slowly rose from his lab chair with a tired grunt after sending a blast of reiatsu at his alarm clock. One thing about being the captain of the 12th division and head of the research and development, it meant the he was up until the early hours of the morning doing everything from experimenting with newly designed gadgets to testing his newest bio-medical chemical to documenting and recording his latest findings to even evaluating the supply manifests and ordering new supplies, this often lead to his lab, office, and bedroom becoming the same place.

He ran a hand through his hair while he slowly blinked the sleep from his eyes. With a yawn he made his way to his small desk to see what sort of experiments he'd be working on today. Mayuri picked up the clipboard with the schedule Nemu had prepared for him, "Hmm...it seems today is the day I must turn in the quarterly research evaluations to Yamamoto-soutaichou." He mumbled to himself as he looked over the rest of the sheet. To his surprise he couldn't find anything else on his days schedule, "This is preposterous! What is the meaning of this, why am I not performing any experiments..." It was then that his eyes caught the date at the top off the paper, "...oh no." Mayuri visibly paled as he brought a hand up to massage his temples. It was that time of the year again, the one day out of the year he detested more than anything. It was his day off. Several years after being promoted to captain of the 12th division Yamamoto had seen fit, that given his work habits, to instate a mandatory day of vacation for the _good_ of his physical and mental health alike. That wasn't how Mayuri saw it though, a day where he could do no kind of research was a day that nothing good could come of it.

Resigning himself to his fate he made his way over to the wall pressing his hand on it opening a hidden door to reveal a closet stocked with several pairs of clean robes. After quickly changing to a fresh pair of robes he began making his way towards the door when he caught his reflection and sighed, "It's been over a month and I'm still not used to my own reflection thanks to those blasted women." Mayuri said gruffly thinking back to roughly a month and a half ago when he'd received a letter informing him that the shinigami women's association had started a petition for him to no longer wear his "creppy" mask on the grounds that it made him seem unapproachable to members of the other divisions and to top it off they had managed to collect the signature of nearly every officer in seireitei from new recruit to vice-captains, even a few of the other captains had signed the infernal thing. So it was needless to say that Yamamoto saw fit when faced with such a unanimous decision chose to side with the majority for "the sake of the unity of the Gotei 13" or some such reason.

"Good morning Mayuri-sama." Nemu greeted Mayuri as he stepped outside into the stables courtyard.

"Bah, there's nothing good about it, now make yourself useful and send word down to Akon to have the quarterly reports ready for me by the time I reach the stable gates." He said preparing to leave when he noticed an all to familiar spiritual pressure coming from behind one of the courtyard bushes, "Nemu." Mayuri called getting his daughter's attention before she went about the task he'd given her.

"Yes Mayuri-sama."

"Take a memo." He said giving her a few moments to prepare to take down the message, "All member of the 11th division that fail vacate the 12th division's stable within the next three seconds will be taken as volunteers for my latest batch of experiments." Once he'd finished talking the familiar blur that was the 11th division's 3rd seat Ikkaku Madarame shot out of the stable like a rocket, "You're dismissed Nemu."

"Thank you Mayuri-sama." Nemu said with a small blush on her face that Mayuri chose to ignore before she went back to work.

Mayuri brought his hand up to slap his forehead, this was the third time this week Madarame had snuck into the stable to see his daughter and it was becoming troublesome, "And to think I wanted a son." He mused to himself as he thought back to the day Nemu was "born".

**---Flashback---**

It was Mayuri's third week after being instated as captain of the 12th division and he was working on what was to be his greatest scientific achievement to date. He was going to create the perfect vice-captain by melding his DNA with a gikongan and gigai of his own design. He'd spent the last three weeks personally handcrafting a perfect blank gigai and gikongan programmed with everything he needed in a subordinate and all that was left to do was to finish drawing the last ingredient needed, a pure sample of his own blood that would give shape to the gigai's body and give it the proverbial breath of life. Mayuri had just finished drawing the needed sample of blood and was injecting it into the cultured dish. He was so engrossed in the last stages of his greatest achivement he wasn't prepared for what came next, "What'cha up to Mayu-chan?" Came the energetic voice of the most unpredictable woman he'd ever met and close friend to his former captain Kisuke Urahara, Kukaku Shiba looking over his shoulder.

"It's Kurotsuchi-taichou now." He said doing best to regain his composure.

"It's funny you should mention that Mayu-chan, "She said with a chuckle pulling a few sheets of paper from behind her back, "because I just so happen to have these forms that require a captains level clearance."

"For what might I ask?" Mayuri asked taking the papers from her hand and beginning to look over them.

"Nothing much, just my greatest creation yet!" Kukaku said pumping her fist into the air as Mayuri finished looking over papers.

"What kind of fool do you take me for, " Mayuri said with a stern expression, "With the supplies listed here you could create something strong enough to break through the barrier surrounding the seireitei and I'd be directly responsible for whatever you did with it if I signed this."

"I thought it might come to this." Kukaku said with grin as she took a step closer to Mayuri, "You do owe me a favor, or have you forgotten already Mayu-chan?" She asked in low husky voice standing only inches from his face.

To tell the truth the event in question had been engraved into his mind that a chill ran up and down his spine just remembering the whole thing, "Fine, fine, I'll sign the papers. Just never mention that ever again." Mayuri said reluctantly signing the papers.

"Ata' boy Mayu-chan, I knew I could count on you." Kukaku said wrapping her arm around Mayuri's shoulder.

"Now that you've got what you came here for would you kindly leave, I'm very busy as of the moment." Mayuri said making his way back to the table where he'd left blood sample.

"Okay see ya around Mayu-chan. Look me up when you're not so busy and we can go out drinking like the old days." Kukaku said making her way towards the door.

Once he heard the door close Mayuri made his way over to the computer that would conduct the last phase of the experiment. In the span of roughly four hours the DNA would have bonded with the gigai body and shaped it and the gikongan would have completely connected with the gigai. Mayuri was all smiles as he pressed the button the computer panel that would initiate the final stage of the experiment.

**---roughly four hours later---**

Mayuri stood in front of the tank that held his greastest scientific achievement and it was evident by the look on his face something had gone terribly wrong, "**HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!**" Mayuri bellowed as he nearly destroyed the lad floor stomping over to where the computer was printing a readout on every chromosome in the gigai's body. He gritted his teeth as he analyzed the long chain of genetic sequences, he'd memorized every single strand of his DNA and he wouldn't fail to notice a single variation, "There it is! Computer analyze this code and determine it's origin." Mayuri commanded the machine after typing several things in at a furious pace. The code was undoubtedly human, but that was impossible. He'd hadn't even let a fly into his lab since...oh no, as this thought registered the computer had finished scan the sample and had a single name flashing across the screen, Kukaku Shiba.

"Why me?" Mayuri asked to no one in particular as he turned to glance at his newly "born" daughter. He mumbled a few words under his breath as he stared at the tank, "Nemu." He finally said, "You shall be Nemu, Nemu Kurotsuchi."

**---Flashback End---**

Mayuri was pulled from his thoughts as he reached the stable gates where Akon stood waiting with the reports in hands, "G'morning Chief." He greeted as he handed him the reports.

"Cut the trivialities Akon, I trust everything is in order." Mayuri said lightly thumbing through the thick folder of papers.

"Yes sir."

"Very good." Mayuri said slowly stepping out of the 12th division's stable. As he was leaving he could hear Akon call to him from the gate, "Don't worry Boss, only 17 hours to go."

Mayuri sighed, he could of sworn he saw a black cat cross his path, then shunpo away, "Something tells me it's going to be a long 17 hours."

-----------

"Kurotsuchi-taichou!" Mayuri turned to see the vice-captain of the 4th division jogging towards him.

"What is it?" He asked gruffly as she stopped in front of him.

"Excuse the interuption Kurotsuchi-taichou, but our 7th seat Hanataro Yamada has gone missing. Unohana-taichou is currently in a meeting so I was hoping if you happen to find him you'd let him know Isa- I mean Kotetsu-fukutaichou is looking for him." Isane stammered as a light shade of red came to her cheeks.

"Yes, yes I'll let him know if I come across him." Mayuri said giving her a dismissive wave as he turned to make his leave.

"Thank you very much Kurotsuchi-taichou." Isane said before vanishing with a shunpo to continue her search.

-----------

As Mayuri began nearing the 3rd division stable he noticed several rather brutish shinigami standing in a circle around what appeared to be a small and timid 4th division member, "You got sake all over my robes you worthless brat." One of the shinigami berated while lifting the 4th division boy up by his collar.

"I-I-I'm very sorry, I'll pay to have it cleaned." The frightened boy pleaded.

"Oh you'll pay alright, with your hide."

"Out of the way." Mayuri had no intention of getting involved with this dispute, he just wanted to turn in his report and get this day over with.

"Shut up fool or I'll Kill you t-" The brute never got the chance finish as Mayuri poked him with his Ashisogi Jizo. He dropped the boy as his body went limp, the other shinigami trembling with fear before running off leaving their companion behind.

As he resheathed his zanpaku-to Mayuri glanced at the terrified 4th division shinigami on the ground before him. Taking a step forward he grabbed the boy by the back off his collar and lifted him to eye level, "Are you Hanataro Yamada of the 4th division?" He asked point blank.

"Y-Y-Ye-Yes sir."

Mayuri let go of his collar letting the boy land rather clumsily on his feet, "Your vice captain is looking for you." He said bluntly as Hanataro blushed at the mention of his superior. Mayuri took no notice of this as he began making his way towards the 1st division once again.

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Mayuri was just outside of the 1st division stable when he stumbled upon something deeply disturbed him. Out of the corner of his eye he'd noticed two figures huddled together in the alley next to the 1st division stable, his curiosity getting the best of him Mayuri turned to find Unohana in the arms of none other than Kenpachi Zaraki sharing a rather...intimate kiss. Mayuri decided that it was definitely time to go, but unfortunately for him he didn't see the tiny stone next to his foot. As he moved to leave he accidently hit the small rock which sent it into the alley wall causing a loud echo to get the attention of the two embracing captains. There was silence as the three captains stared at each other.

Mayuri was the first to speak and break the awkward silence, "Kenpachi, Unohana." He said simply nodding to each of the two captains.

"Kurotsuchi." Kenpachi said with a curt grunt.

Mayuri looked the captains in the eye, his mortification obvious on his face, "Let us never speak of this again." And with that he disappeared with a Shunpo that could rival Yoruichi.

-----------

Mayuri sighed in relief as he made his way out of the 1st division stable. He thought back on the short meeting he'd just had with Yamamoto, he'd always respected Yamamoto more than the rest of the Gotei 13 and for no more than the simple reason that Yamamoto understood what it was like to be him. As the captain general his every action, his every plan, his every decision, everything he did was for the greater good of the soul society, these principles were what all science was based upon. Mayuri had long since given up on listening to the words of the ignorant masses who could never understand what it was like to be a true scientist. In science there is no God and there is no Devil, there was only success and failure, if the ends justified the means you were a hero, but if not then you were the Devil, there was no more and there was no less. History had proved that only those that who'd succeeded were remembered. Then there were the fools who clung to their feeble ethics. Ethics were nothing more than an excuse for those who feared what they'd become in the eyes of others if they failed. Only those who were willing to cast aside all they believed in and were ready to become a demon ever truly helped mankind. These were the truths that had helped move Mayuri forward all his life. He continued in deep thought as he exited the stable.

No more than three seconds after setting foot outside of the 1st division's gates Mayuri found himself flying several feet to side after a small unidentifiable object collided with him at an incredible speed. After skidding several feet across the ground Mayuri began to slowly sit himeself up.

"Watch where you're going you fo- Oh it's you Ma-Mayuri." Came a familiar voice.

"Soi Fong?" Mayuri said looking at the small captain of the 2nd division who sat on the ground a few feet from him as he stood up rubbing the side of his head.

"Sorry about th-that Mayuri, I was in a bit of a hurry." She said with a small tint of blush as he helped her of the ground. This confused Mayuri, the usually cool and reserved captain of the 2nd division had been acting strangely around him since he'd ceased wearing his mask, "U-Um I gotta get going, maybe I'll se-see you later." Soi Fong said before speeding off again with another shunpo.

Mayuri was left scratching his head.

-----------

Mayuri sat behind his desk in his dimly lit office thinking quietly to himself as the rays of the afternoon sun leaked through the blinds of his window. His head rested in the palm of his hands as he lightly tapped his pencil on his desk when a purple mist suddenly began filling the air followed shorly after by a familliar presence.

"_Tsch, tsch, Mayuri._" Came a raspy hiss as a golden child like being wearing a red cloak with a small caterpillar like body protruding from under it floated into view hovering in front of Mayuri's desk, "_You know what they say about idle hands._" The spirit said floating around Mayuri and giggling to itself.

"What is it you want you blasted Jizo?" Mayrui spat at the child like spirit that floated about his office.

"_A little tense are we? Looks like this day off was just what the proverbial doctor ordered._" Ashisogi Jizo snickered as it began floating in circles over Mayuri's head, "_You know what they say, all work and know play makes Jack,_"

"A hard worker worthy of his position!" Mayuri said harshly as he slammed his hand on his desk while his zanpaku-to's spirit swiftly floated to eye level in front of Mayuri's desk, "Now if you're quite done here I'd kindly ask you to leave!" As Mayuri finished the sound of distant foot steps could be heard coming towards his office.

"_Very well Mayuri, I'll leave you to your business._" Ashisogi Jizo said grinning to itself, "_But you know what they say about the lesser of the two evils. I'll leave you to ponder this._" And with that Ashisogi Jizo faded away and the purple mist dissipated mere seconds later.

No more a millisecond after the last of the mist dissappeared the door to Mayuri's office slid open to reveal none other than Shunsui Kyouraku and Jyuushiro Ukitake, each wearing a jovial smile across their face, "How's it going Mayuri." Kyouraku said inviting himself into the room.

"Enjoying your day off I trust." Ukitake said following his friend into the room.

"And to what do I owe the pleasure of this vist?" Mayuri said his voice dripping with sarcasm as he massaged his temples.

"All us captains are getting together for a little good natured fun." Kyouraku said sitting on the edge of Mayuri's desk.

"We were hoping that you might join us." Ukitake said with cheerful and hopeful smile.

"I hate to disappoint, but I must decli..." Mayuri was cut off as each captain took hold of one of his arms.

"Sorry, but we won't be taking no for an answer." Kyouraku said as they hoisted Mayuri out of his seat.

"This is for your own good Kurotsuchi-san." Ukitake said with a reassuring smile as they proceeded to drag Mayuri out of the 12th division stable despite his loud protests.

--------

The party was a true sight to behold, Matsumoto was currently participating in a drinking contest with none other that Kenpachi Zaraki as Kyouraku(with an ever chiding Nanao at his side), Unohana, Renji Abarai, and various members of 11th division watching. Ukitake was sipping tea with Hitsgaya in a nearby booth. Not far from them were Isane and Hanataro were chatting animately. In a quiet corner Byakuya Kuchiki sat drinking by himself. Mayuri shared a table with Komamura sharing light conversation and enjoying the moments of silence between them.

Mayuri had lost track of Nemu some while ago, but figured she off galivanting with Madarame. Mayuri relaxed a little knowing Madarame was a fool, but not enough of a fool that he'd do anything that would put him on Mayuri's bad side.

He was taking a drink when he noticed a familiar presence approaching causing him to nearly choke on his sake.

"Mayu-chan! So you finally decided to take me up on my offer to go out drinking. Great, let's get smashed!" A very drunk Kukaku Shiba shouted as she wrapped her arm around Mayuri and plopped down in the seat next to him.

"Kukaku!? What are you..." Before Mayuri could finish his sentence he felt a tug at his other arm and turned to find a Soi Fong with both her arms wrapped tightly around his left arm, a tint of blush on her face and a possessive look in her eyes.

"Keep your hands off my man!" Her words slurred showing that she too had had one too many.

"You look'n for a fight ninja girl?" Kukaku challenge as she stood and began reaching for the sword on her arm. As Soi Fong rose from her seat the group became enveloped by a large and ominous shadow.

"Did somebody say fight?" Asked a drunk and grinning Kenpachi accupanied by several drunk 11th division shinigami.

Mayuri sat in the proverbial eye of the storm and sighed to himself. His Ashisogi Jizo had been right about being "lesser of two evils". Mayuri sat back in his chair and finished the rest of his sake as the room soon erupted into chaos. As the Mayuri was being pulled into the drunken brawl one thought crossed his mind.

I truly **hate** my day off.

---Fin---

Authur's notes:

First off I hope everyone liked the story, I really wanted to start portraying Mayuri in a more human light, even though he's very anti-social, ill tempered, and reclusive.

I personally always would be cynical and mischievous little baby spirit that would spot wise old proverbs so I was happy with how he turned out.

I really wanted to try to give Mayuri an inclanation of "Love Interest" in the story and liked seeing him with Kukaku of Soi Fong.

Now I'd like to thank all the readers and now invite you to participate in the first annual

**Make a Mayuri Fic Challange**

- Any lenght

- can be multi-chaptered or a one-shot

Must's:

- be a tale about Mayuri in the academy, Mayuri in everyday life, or Mayuri having a conversation with Ashisogi Jizo

- Include one of these phrases:

- "Nemu, where are my clothes?"

- "So i herd u liek Quincys?!"(bad spelling optional. XD.)

- "I love your hat."

-and **MOST** of all, have fun.

**Well that's it for me. Peace, I'm out!**


End file.
